A Step of Faith

Finally uttering the words "I don't want to be a teacher" and believing them has been more than refreshing. It hit me the other night that this is NOT what I want to do. I've grown up in education. My dad is a principal and my mom works in the board office. Teaching is comfortable. It's risk-free. It's all I've known

That is not the life that Christ calls us to live. Complacent and content are not words that were used to describe the kind of person that Jesus was.  And I am not willing to submit myself to that kind of life. I want to be challenged. I want to live life day-to-day, figuring out what it is that Jesus meant for my life. I desire to work with people with special needs and serve Christ all at the same time. Maybe that means working at a camp. Maybe that means working in a group home. Whatever it is, I know that I'm called to work with people with special needs. But I know that I am not meant to be a Special Ed Teacher.

      
      I can't wait to wake up each day and get excited about the career that I have and the people that I get to work with. My heart is passionate for people with special needs. I can't explain the joy it brings be to have the opportunity to work with them and learn from each individual that whose path I cross. Jesus has given me a love that I can't explain. I think He's showing me what it's like for him to love everyone, no matter what.

     
     I wrote down some of these ideas to remind me why I'm changing my major. 

     Reasons why I am not fit to be a teacher:

1.  I detest writing lesson plans.
2.  Why is there so much prep-work? Sorry that I don’t want to spend my entire life cutting out little pieces of paper to represent numbers or verbs or whatever just so my kids will be entertained while I teach.
3. I know it’s the little things that count… and I have no desire to do those little things.
4. The thought of being in a classroom, teaching a group of students who probably don’t care, is none-the-less a thrilling thought. Especially since I probably don’t care either.
5. Teachers are catty.  In all of my classes, these women have so much to complain about and I don’t know why.  They take classes that are fun and pretty easy, so why all the criticizing?
6. AND THE QUESTIONS.  We spent an entire hour today of question and answer.  I’m beginning to think that the first hour of my class is going to continue to be that way. 
7. I have to tutor.  I love that I’m going to get a chance to form relationships with kids, but I am not thrilled about the thought of writing a lesson plan for EACH time we meet… twice a week.
8. One of the only reasons that teaching was ever appealing to me was because I would get to work with people with special needs and because of the benefits: summer, great health insurance, guaranteed decent pay.  But if those are the reasons that I want to be a teacher, I better re-assess my motives. 
9. My choice to go into Special Ed leaves no room for Christ to work.  What about faith? How can I claim that I have any, when I pretty much know where my life’s headed?  It’s time for me to let Jesus work.